Wounds

In the week since I left my call I've moving around, feeling relaxed and happy.  I've been seeing my family, listening to music, writing and putting some feelers out for a new call.   This morning my phone woke me up, it was brother Bill who was calling to make an arrangement about lunch later this week.

The reason I'm blogging about this is that Bill woke me in the middle of a dream that I probably would not have remembered had he not called.  I dreamt I was back at seminary and one of the people I went toe to toe with at the church was teaching one of my required classes.   I remember feeling trapped and hopeless.

How long do wounds stay?  I ask not just as someone who has been wounded, but as someone who has inflicted wounds on others.  "What's love when all is said and done but the giving and taking of wounds?" asks Frederick Buechner's "Godric". (Sorry if the quote is wrong, my copy is packed up somewhere!)

In the breakup of any relationship, most of the fault does not lie on one side or the other.   I've made mistakes, sometimes real doozies in every relationship I have ever had, every church I have ever served.

Thank God for forgiveness!   Shakespeare knew that forgiveness is where we must all end up 400 years ago:

The quality of mercy is not strain'd,
It droppeth, as the gentle rain from heaven
Upon the place beneath: it is twice bless'd;
It blesseth him that gives, and him that takes
+++++++++++
Though justice be thy plea, consider this—
That in the course of justice, none of us
Should see salvation: we do pray for mercy;
Merchant of Venice, Act IV, Scene I

Forgiveness isn't easy.   It's hard.  But just because something is hard, doesn't mean it isn't worth doing.  Talk it out, write it out, pray it out.  I just don't know any other way.

Merciful God, May I rely upon the forgiveness you have given me in Christ Jesus to forgive the wounds that I have suffered.  May those I have wounded find wholeness, health and forgiveness in their own way and own time.   May we all strive to serve you better.   Relying on the saving grace of your son I pray.  Amen.

Blessings.